Yes, this is satire folks…
Dear Dr. Paul,
While I appreciate your interest in helping me launch my presidential campaign, we need to talk about some of these staffers you’ve sent over. I understand they’re all committed loyalists and friends of the family but, at the suggestion of my political team, I’ve decided to let them go. I need your help doing this, as they don’t “recognize my authority” and are now squatting in my Louisville office while they await your instructions.
The security personnel all appear to be members of a biker gang, and I think the speechwriter you sent over is an honest-to-God sea pirate. This is all impossible to verify, however, as none of them will give me their real names.