It is junk. It’s the venereal streetwalker of the Eurozone,” said Raymond McDaniel, CEO of Moody’s, before spitting on a map of the country during a press conference. “No one wants to touch it.”

The Litost Publishing Collective

cyprus

WASHINGTON- Amid the ongoing Cypriot financial crisis, which struck the small European nation in early 2009, economists at the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and World Bank say that they are surprised to learn that Cyprus is, in fact, a country.

“I woke up the other day and the headlines in the Journal were all about this place called Cyprus,” recalls IMF CEO Christine Lagarde. “I didn’t even know this place existed yesterday and now all of a sudden everyone’s concerned about their economic difficulties.”

Cyprus, usually remembered for its vibrant tourism industry and as the birthplace of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and pleasure, is also home to some of the earliest human activity ever recorded. According to historians, hunter gatherers flourished on the island as early as 10,000 BC, predating ancient Egyptian civilization by some 5000 years.

“It’s amazing that Cyprus could have been around for so long…

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